In writing this month’s column, I fully intended to focus on a famous quote often attributed to General George S. Patton—“Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way.” This is one of my favorite adages, and sums up a problem common in all aspects of adult life. Too many people like to engage in the back and forth of identifying problems, but few want to get their hands dirty enough to not only identify, but to actually implement a solution. I want to either lead the problem-solving efforts, or be inspired to follow someone who has the ability to lead in a positive manner. Everything else is just noise, and when faced with a challenge, I want nothing more than for the naysayers to get out of my way.

Although Patton’s famous quote on leading is in itself a noteworthy topic on which to contemplate, in doing research on the issue I found one of his less famous quotes, and one that I believe is a much more interesting and important message as it would pertain to the study of leadership. In his book, War as I Knew It, the general states, “There is a great deal of talk about loyalty from the bottom to the top. Loyalty from the top down is even more necessary and much less prevalent.” The general is spot on in this regard and, in my opinion, his words provide an explanation for why so many people like piling onto problems instead of looking at the silver lining of a situation and trying to resolve troubling issues.

Too often, those put into leadership positions expect to be followed simply because they are the “leaders” of a group. Many groups fail because their members have simply come to accept the norm that those who are the loudest in the room are often considered to be a group’s leader. There is really nothing more poisonous to an organization than a person who feels entitled to waive around authority simply because he or she was fortunate enough to receive a promotion or to have won an election. When I’m participating in a project that is being led by a person who is only self-interested, I know it is likely going to be an unpleasant experience, no matter how passionate I am about the group’s mission.

In contrast, organizations can absolutely be carried to great levels of success when led by the right person. I will run through a wall for a person when I know he or she truly wants me to do well, values my opinions, and keeps the best interests of the group in the forefront. I will trust that person and will heavily rely on his or her guidance, judgment, and mentorship. An altruistic approach is what endears a person to colleagues and makes them excited to follow.

Are many leaders vocal? Sure, but there is a difference between being vocal and being a bully. There are also alternative leadership styles, like leading by example or by providing others with support. Like respect, leadership is earned through the loyalty you give to those who you are asking to follow your lead. Leaders earn such privileges by working with people and by being fair to all, while simultaneously realizing that although people should be treated equally, every situation and every person is different. There is no one size fits all way to deal with unique personalities and people from different backgrounds.

What should reassure us all is that there are no perfect leaders. The good ones are always evolving, adapting, and learning. In most instances, those who thrive in leadership roles do so by developing loyalty first and foremost by being loyal to the group. In being loyal to those in their care, leaders inherently create loyalty amongst the group, resulting in a more collaborative and efficient organization. To be effective, a good leader knows first and foremost his or her limitations. Know who you are and what your skills are, and similarly, know what you aren’t and where you need help. Surround yourself with capable people, and give them the freedom to be talented, while also letting them know that you will provide the support they need to succeed. Often forgotten, people also need to be treated with respect, even when they are unable to accomplish a task. This is not a participation trophy approach as much as it’s just common sense. Everyone should be treated with basic human decency whether they are a first-year intern in your organization or the CEO of the company.

Growing up my parents often used the phrase, “Praise in public, punish in private.” The successes of the people you surround yourself with should be celebrated. And on the other end of the spectrum, there is no bigger turn off, and no better way to torpedo a relationship, than a person being lambasted by a “superior” in front of others. It is demoralizing, shows a lack of judgment, and does nothing to improve the situation. On the most basic of levels, it’s not leadership. Punishing, or maybe more appropriately, constructive criticism, is something that should be done privately. In the instance of a problem or some wrongdoing, be honest and privately tell the person what the expectations were (which should have been communicated already), make sure the person understands why his or her action or inaction was wrong, and ensure that steps are implemented to prevent repeated mistakes. Demonstrating this level of respect will be appreciated and will further establish a culture of loyalty.

Leaders are tasked with supporting the members of their group, and putting them in positions to succeed. Successes, no matter how small, build confidence, promote positive attitudes, and create an inherent confidence to believe that anything can be accomplished. The greatest of leaders are loyal to the members of their organizations when they find the happy balance of being vocal, supportive, and leading by example. If you can help people reach their potential, your loyalty to the group will be returned threefold. To help create such an atmosphere in your group is the hallmark of a true leader.